Failed expectations and sexual frustrations from inability to deflower or to quickly adjust to sexual responsibilities (conjugal duties) after wedding . As a newly wed you are supposed to still be very happy and having sexual exploration and hawt climax but nay blues!The euphoria about being married just disappeared like a vapour, the glow on your face is gone and you are so down? One major cause could be oda room matters. In counseling, we have seen many couples who couldn’t have sex for Months and even years. You heard me right. Some couples are just married but not having sex!!! This is becoming very common among newly weds.Sexual frustration is one post wedding blues for some couples. I tell you, this is a big one. We have seen many marital crisis stemming from wedding night and cutting into the marriage itself because of sex.See, you can’t prepare for party food, suit, wedding band, gown,make up, Hall decorations and all afeferity and not prepare for sex inside of marriage. This is foolishness #apologies if it dropped harshly. We have painstakingly honoured many distress calls from newly weds/ young couples about sexual frustration and I feel so bad like what made them feel they would easily cross that bridge without any solid preparation. Even to deflower is a tug of war for some couples. Groom tearing off the vagina or perineum of bride and so many other stuffs. Sexual Intimacy in Marriage isn’t just about dipping penis into vagina and standing up, this is sexual intercourse. There’s a lot wrapped in real sexual intimacy. I can’t tell it all in this piece. This is why we run our sex class for about to wed and newly wedded couples. So, get raw knowledge about sexual intimacy before your wedding. I advise you start to attend marital counseling to brush your knowledge on sex inside of marriage , there are also Christian materials and sex classes you can attend like 2-3 Months before your wedding (so you don’t open up yourself to sexual temptations.) Do not feed on pornography ooo biko.Think about it. You have avoided fornication for many years, managed your konji fiercely as it dealt with you and now you’ll be married and still not have sex.? This is a waste of a grand opportunity I entered marriage with a strong determination to explore and enjoy sexual intimacy with my husband All my myths about sex detoxified before marriage as we shared after reading some books.Mind preparation is No. 1.My hubby was patient and not in haste to make us go through deflowering without my readiness. #thumbUPAfter some attempts on our wedding night, he accepted we just sleep. No force. No pressure. It eventually happened the 3rd day. It is love making not mechanical so both of you must be ready physically, emotionally and psychologically (it is not bad if you feel tired on your wedding night and you both agree to have a good sleep after bathing together and doing hawt foreplays and body exploration)I do stress the need for newly weds to do body exploration before sex. Look at what you have gotten as a spouse. Don’t just bounce on your spouse like a tiger. Savour the content. Pass nice compliment. Look each other over and gently touch your property and worshipBrother Leviticus, please take it easy…we know you waited for sex. But don’t be a furious lion around your new bride. Make her feel comfortable. It is love making not world war !!!When sex on the first night becomes do or die afair, this alone can make new brides feel like running back home to Mama Woman, be mind prepared too. I understand that mild pain that comes with deflowering but with knowledge you will navigate and even be begging for more. It is peppered-ice cream for the first time. I have seen brides who at the sight of “something” took race around their new home Sister Salome, Bhet why? Be still and see the rod of salvation! Be calming down.
How about adjusting to sexual responsibility after work resumption?Months after our wedding, I had blues caused by my inability to meet up my conjugal duty and that shortly after I resumed work. I work in Ikoyi at the time and stress almost killed me. Food and sleep was always all I needed every night not sexual intimacy. Even when I was a single, my family knew I don’t take dinner most nights. I could return home from work by 11pm…even 12am on heavy traffic days. I would just manage to shower and sleep but after marriage it got so hectic. Home management entered my plate.I was going to work tired and returning home tired. Remember my ministry is part of the plate content. The stress of Managing my job, ministry and home got into me and almost messed up my sexual life.I would even be praying hubby doesn’t come near me at all when going home from work. The days I pretended I was sleeping so he wouldn’t make an attempt for love making. I was turning him down till it became a matter of discussion between us. It was so serious I was already afraid sex would become a problem in our marriage. There were days I cried in the bathroom like Holy Spirit please I need POWER Come to our sex class. I will give you the modules on how I navigated that season as a virgin bride. You don’t have to go through it.My hubby now knows I have POWER! Mo shana He trained me. My counsel for newly weds is to be patient with each other. Groom, calm down. Let your bride (especially virgin) adjust to sexual responsibilities with joy not pressure. There are also wisdom for managing home responsibilities and adjusting to your new life as a couple.We had to make some adjustments like hubby fixing dinner cos his office was close. Engage vendors to take some stress off me. We did home management planning. The fatigue gave way and I became the master of my groove.What if there are more complicated issues around sex?Go for counseling. Do that fast.SINGLES join TH SINGLES CRIB https://t.me/+7W9Z_MDHt5QyYTlkEsther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi omoniyiesther1@gmail.com