So much has been said, taught, preached, and written on encouraging Christian sisters to say ‘No to premarital sex or sexual pressure’ but not so much has been done to warn brothers.
We should stop denying the fact that some brothers are seeing ‘shege’ in the hands of unbroken and sexually-loosed sisters.
Today, I come for the brothers.
There are Christian brothers under the heat of sexual pressure from Christian sisters. Nobody is talking about this because brothers must be men and are top ashamed to talk about it.
I’ve heard many stories of Christian brothers with sexual purity vow on their heads but lost it upon getting into relationship with a sister.
A virgin brother once lamented about how he lost it because of sexual pressure from his fiancée. She pressed hard on his life till he gave in to fornication and messed up with her.
A lady who has been sexually active with a history of rape entered into a relationship with this virgin guy, she pressured him till the day sex happened. After the sex, guy wept. Lady felt she has achieved something great. Matter got to me when the guy stood up to no-more -sex. He was filled with so much regret.
Another lady said she can’t be in a relationship with a man who is saving sex for marriage. It is very clear she is not saved. I cannot be convinced otherwise.
Sisters are fighting brothers for not pecking, necking, hugging, kissing them during courtship. How did we even get here? Who is your mother? Sarah or Rahab?
My hubby is the first man I met who told me upfront that there would be no kissing, caressing, fingering and all sorts. I got back home rejoicing. How do sisters meet men like this and still fight tooth and nail non-ending till the brother falls like Samson? He is talking to them and their gaze is on his trousers to see if he is ‘complete’.
I thought as a teen that it is only brothers who mount sexual pressure but sisters do as well, just that brothers don’t talk about it.
There have been many sisters who called these brothers names like ‘impotent’ ‘not romantic’ ‘Rev. Father’ ‘Mummy’s boy’ and all sort of names all because they choose to honour your womanhood and preserve your dignity? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with you ladies? I didn’t come for these ladies. It is quiet painful.
Brothers, watch your head. Don’t let a woman-stone hit your head and break your skull.
What should you do to preserve yourself from such sisters.
1. Own your conviction and consecration.
It is about your soul first. Remember there’s no dating and marriage in heaven. Don’t look at Jezebel’s powder. You’re a man on a mission. Guard your vow of purity. Stand up to it.
2. Take your time to watch this sister you’re proposing to.
Watch for fear of God, brokenness, humility of heart, her social space, and everything. Make sure this one is one who can raise your children as godly offspring. If she doesn’t have it, she cannot give it.
3. Ask about her sexual history.
Already if she had a wild life exploring sex before salvation or rededication of life, you need to guard your life by enforcing strict boundaries. What is her current sexual appetite? Ask questions and listen with your spiritual eyes and ears. Does she have any sexual addiction problems? Knowing this will help guide you in managing her so you don’t lose your consecration too. You cannot be caressing the head of a snake.
4. Ask her about her decision on sexual purity.
Discuss sexual boundaries. For a lady with loaded history of sexual exploration, sir, you know you should avoid meeting behind closed door. No pecking, no necking, no kissing, no long midnight chatting and calls. In fact, your hug should be done in the public sir (one side hug) Hear this and know peace in your life.
5. Encourage your lady to learn sexual discipline.
If you need to see a counselor together, do not hesitate. Do not engage or encourage her sexual advances so she can learn very fast now that you’re courting. If she misses this class, falling into extra marital affair will be very cheap. You don’t want to get home one day and meet your wife hitting on the gate man.
6. Help her to stand, do not crawl on the floor and if need be, run for your life.
This is what it means to be a real man. Real men like Joseph will rather shut their hearts against the skin of the woman and run. Run is what the Bible says to do. If she’s all over you pressing you to touch her, run. She’s teasing you to arousal, run. She makes her voice somehow like that of a bird to seduce you, run. She grabs your penis playfully, run sir.
She complains you are not romantic, run. Don’t wait. You and I know, Jezebel’s spirit is at work. She will not stop until your soul is ditched. Not only men use women, women use men.
Some sisters will pull you down flat. Some of them will dump brothers after sleeping with them just so you know.
If what you share with the Lord is treasured, watch for your soul.You should ask God to give you wisdom to make good choices and the power to stand, moment by moment to say no.
Real men say No to Premarital sex.
Esther Ebunoluwa Omoniyi omoniyiesther1@gmail.com